An unexpected pregnancy that was supposed to be impossible

Lots of couples pray and feel the need to have another baby, some feel like someone is missing. We were taken completely by surprise. It took us 6 months of trying and then an addition 6 months of fertility medicine to get pregnant with our daughter and the chance of having a surprise blessing was slim to none. Yet there we were, surprised with this little blessing. I actually had a really hard time accepting that I was pregnant again. It’s not that I didn’t want to have a baby, it’s a great calling in life to be a mother. I just didn’t want a baby right now. My daughter had just turned a year old, and wouldn’t even be two when this baby is born, I was having the time of my life watching her grow and was feeling very selfish over the me and her only time that I would never get back. I felt like a terrible person for not being excited about this baby. I spent 19 weeks of pregnancy trying to be excited. I had been praying for the ability to find joy, or better yet to understand/accept this new direction in my plan God had for me and to know why I needed to be pregnant right now. Right from the start this pregnancy was harder than with my daughter. My body hurt way worse, some nights I couldn’t get up to use the bathroom without sobbing in pain. I spent weeks moving from my bed, to the kitchen for food, to the couch. It wasn’t until the 9th of December that I finally received an answer to my prayers. I had a very personal experience that showed me Heavenly Father knew me, He knew how I was feeling and He wanted me to know carrying this child was something He needed me to do. I have been blessed in this life to be chosen to be a mother. I have the sweetest daughter I could have ever asked for who has blessed my life in immeasurable ways. I may never know in this life why this little boy needed to come to earth now (other than God wanted a good chuckle at my fertility dr that said “not possible”) I have been blessed and will continue to be blessed as I raise my children in the gospel. I know that my son has a reason to come to earth now and that he will bless the lives of countless people while here. I have, and have always had, an deep love for this baby boy, but through the grace of God I have found joy in my pregnancy! I’m looking forward to May 4^th (or sooner, pleasseee just a week sooner!) when I, once again, get to welcome a sweet child of God into this world!

- Jennifer